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. . .
rumor to boost sales. But ratings are a better guide than what parents had before: nothing.
Ratings are nothing more or less than a modest way of reintroducing something
called standards. It is a way the collective community of adults can say, "We disapprove."
We disapprove of violence, we disapprove of sexual exploitation. We do not
want our pre-teens to watch the W.A.S.P. smashing the head of a woman in chains.
Does that make us the establishment? Does that mean our kids will rebel? Frankly,
it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that we let our children know what
we think.
[From the Esquire, May 1984]
Traveling through Texas, I listened to local radio stations. In San Antonio I found
myself listening to KISS-FM, a rock 'n' roll outlet.
On the air, one of the station's disc jockeys mentioned a promotion. "What would
you do to meet the Crüe? he said. He explained that a heavy-metal rock band called
Mötley Crüe was coming to San Antonio. Listeners were invited to mail entries to
the station. The winners would get free tickets to the concert; some would get to go
backstage and meet the band.
I called the station. I said I would be interested in seeing the entries. I asked if
there were any ground rules. I was told that the only rule was that listeners had to
answer the one basic question: "What would you do to meet the Crüe? ["]
A week later, I read the entries.
We seem to have come quite a distance from Herman's Hermits fan clubs and "I
Want to Hold Your Hand."
From a sixteen-year-old girl:
"What I Would Do To See Mötley Crüe:
"First, I would tie you up, spread-eagle and naked, with leather straps. Then I'd
shave all the hair off of your chest, and if I should nick you I'll suck up all the blood
as it slowly trickles over your body. Next I'll cover your body with motion lotion to
get things really heated up. When it gets too hot, I'll cover your body in crushed ice
and lay on top of you to melt it down and cool you off.
"Then I'll do things to your body with my tongue that you never thought humanly
possible. Then when you are screaming for mercy and begging for more, telling
me how you want it all, I'll slam the spiked heel of my right leather boot into your
navel, call you a very naughty boy, and laugh as I slowly walk away, telling you I'm
just not that kind of girl."
From a fifteen year-old girl:
"I want to see Mötley Crüe so bad I'd wear black nail polish and body
glitter. . . . When I see them I'd get on may hands & knees & give them my body &
even tear my clothes off if I had to. If that didn't work I'd do like Ozzy did and bite
a dove's head off & say, 'Okay, let's talk business.' "
From a thirteen-year-old girl:
"I'd do it with the Crüe till black and blue is all you can see."
From a fifteen year-old girl:
"I'm really a big fan of Mötley Crüe's and I would do anything to meet them.
Vince Neil and Nikki Sixx are so fine! I love 'em all. I would even get fucked by the
ugliest, fattest, most disgusting guy in the world to meet them. . . .
"My boyfriend gets mad at me because I like them so much, and listen to the
radio all the time for their songs to come on! I had to beg him to let me write this
letter to you. Hopefully, I will win, because I went through a lot of trouble begging
my boyfriend to let me do this.
"That would be just terrific if I won. I would have a chance of meeting Vince
Neil! God. [,] he's so fucking fine! If it would mean losing my boyfriend. I would fuck
his best friend to meet these gorgeous guys. It wouldn't matter, as long as I got to
meet Vince Neil and see his fine ass and fine body! God, I can just see it now. Fucking
him would be my biggest fantasy in the world! Well, I hope I win! Thank you!"
From a thirteen-year-old girl:
"I'd leave my tits to Mötley Crüe."
From a seventeen-year-old girl:
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